Friday joke time

By archmiester on 11:29 AM

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Battle of the Brainless!


Bata pa ako meron na nito, sa email, sa kwento at pati sa TV! Pero parang hindi na sila masyadong sikat ngayon. Sayang. Pero wag kayong malungkot kasi muli nating babalikan ang walang kamatayang labanan ng mga walang utak, ang ”Battle of the Brainless”!Â

Host: Saang “B” binaril si Jose Rizal?

Contestant: Sa back?

Host:Â Mali, puwede rin na ang simula ay letter “L”.

Contestant: Sa likod!!!



Host: Saan “B” tayo madalas pumunta pag summer upang maligo?

Contestant: Banyo?

Host: Hindi, pag pumunta ka doon, maaarawan ka.

Contestant: Bubong?

Host: Hindi, marami kang makikita duong mga babaeng naka-bikini.

Contestant: Beerhouse!

–Â

Host: Anong “S” ang ginagamit na flotation device sa dagat upang hindi ka malunod?

Contestant: Sirena?

Host: Hindi! Hindi ito babae.

Contestant: Siyokoy?

Host: Hindi ito lalake.

Contestant: Siyoke!



Host: Sino ang national hero na naka-picture sa 500 Peso bill? Clue, initials nya N.A.!

Contestant: Nora Aunor?

Host: Hindi. Lalaki sya!

Contestant: Guy?

Host: Hindi. Patay na sya!

Contestant:Â ANO??!! PATAY NA SIÂ ATE GUY???!!!Â



Host: 2 plus 2 equals…

Contestant: Three?

Host: Hindi, taasan mo pa!

Contestant:Â *falsetto* Three?



Host: Anong hayop ang katulong ng magsasaka sa bukid? Nag-uumpisa sa letter “K”.

Contestant: Kuto?

Host: Hindi, nakatira ito sa lupa!

Contestant: Kutong Lupa?



Host: Sino ang “Hero of Mactan”? Initials nya ay L.L.!

Contestant: Lito Lapid?!

Host: Hindi, inuulit ang pangalan nya!

Contestant: Lito Lito Lapid Lapid?

Host: Hindi, isang syllable lang to na inuulit!

Contestant: Lotlot?

Host: Mali!

Constestant: …and friends?



Host: Sino ang Concert Queen of the Philippines? Initials nya ay P.F.

Contestant: Pernando Foe?

Host:Â Ha?!

Contestant: …Junior?



Host: Ano ang National Fruit of the Philippines? Nag-uumpisa ito sa letter ”M”!

Contestant: Mais?

Host: Hindi, maasim ito!

Contestant: Panis na Mais?!



Host: Sino ang dating asawa ni Sharon Cuneta na tatay ni KC? Initials nya ay G.C.!

Contestant: Si GC Bunin!



Host: Ano ang dating National Bird ng Pilipinas? Nag-uumpisa ito sa letter ”M”.

Contestant: Manok?

Host:Â Mali! Naghuhuli ito sa letter “A”!

Contestant: Manoka?

Host: Maliit lang to!

Contestant: Little Manoka?

Host: Mali! Brown lang ito!

Contestant: Little Brown Manoka?

Host: TANGA! Lumilipad to!

Contestant:Â Flying Little Brown Manoka?



Host: Ano ang pangkaraniwang tawag sa “Sodium Chloride”? Clue, inilalagay nyo to sa itlog ng mga asawa nyo tuwing umaga!

Contestant: Pulbos!

Ahahaaaay ang kulet ni Constestant!!!
Â

MAG SYOTA
Lalaki: Ano ang pagkain natin?

Babae: Nasa mesa, bahala ka na pumili!

Lalaki: Isang pirasong tuyo? Ano pagpipilian ko?

Babae: Pumili ka kung kakain ka o hindi!

JEEP
Pedro: Manong bayad!

Driver: San galing?

Pedro: Sa bulsa ko!

Driver: Hindi…san ka sumakay?

Pedro: Sa jeep mo san pa?

Inisip ng driver kung pano sya makakabawi. Binigyan nya ng kulang na sukli si Pedro.

Pedro: O bat kulang ang sukli ko? Magkano ba Quiapo?

Driver:bakit bibilhin mo

Lumayas kasi buntis!

Kumare 1: Mare, pwede bang tumira muna ako sa inyo? Lumayas ako sa amin kasi buntis ako.

Kumare 2: Dapat sa taong nakabuntis sayo ka pumunta!

Kumare 1: Kaya nga. Andyan ba si pare?


May na-aamoy!

Bading 1: Tita, tigil tayo! May na-aamoy akong etits!

Bading 2: Gaga, nadighay lang ako!


Ilang bese kang ginahasa?

Attorney: Iha, ilang beses kang ginahasa ng akusado?

Babae: Tatlong beses po…

Akusado:Â Hoy! Dalawang beses lang kitang ginahasa!

Babae: Bakeeeet? Hindi mo ba ibibilang yung nasa ibabaw ako?!

Kabayo!

Babae: Hon, sino si Julia?

Lalaki: Ah, kabayo yun! Yung pinustahan ko sa karera kahapon.

Babae: Ah ganon? Sige, sagutin mo yung telepono, asa linya yung kabayo mo!


Maraming salamat kay green pinoy at sana mkapag blog kna ulit hehehe

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